Back in 2004 Ozone Magazine ran a story called Groupie Confessions where a bunch of groupie chicks dished on celebrity dick. There were dick reports on Tyrese, Method Man, Jay Z and others. Recently a couple of these reports resurfaced on Baller Alert and since some of you may never have heard that Jay Z’s dick was the size of a one liter Pepsi bottle or that Allen Iverson’s dick is ashy. Enjoy!
When did you meet jay-Z?
This was back when Reasonable Doubt came out. We met at a club. One of his friends was fuckin’ one of my friends, and he was like “What up. My name is Jay-Z.”
Was he already famous? Were you attracted to him as a person, or more for the fame?
I definitely didn’t find him attractive, but he was borderline famous so I figured I’d have a story to tell. He told me I looked like I had a “fuckable mouth,” which i thought was probably the most disrespectful shit I’d ever heard.
How long did you mess with him?
Like 3 months
Were you worried about him sleeping with other girls?
He had a ton of other bitches. To tell you the truth, with his boring dick, I was glad he was giving it to them.
Boring. The biggest dick you’ll ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It’s beyond huge. It could block the sun.
Too big to suck?
No, not all. That’s why he fucked with me. And he screams like a bitch when he busts. It’s horrible. He has a big, humongous dick and has no idea what to do with it.
You didn’t try and teach him?
It wouldn’t have worked to teach him anything. He is just boring. Plus, I really didn’t care. I was just mostly around for the cash. He might not be boring in bed to everyone, but me I just didn’t dig him. He always wanted head first, then back-shots. Then he’d always try and stick it in the asshole. I don’t know what the fuck he thought he was doing with that big-ass dick.
Did you ever let him?
I wouldn’t be talking to you now if I had. My insides would be in a bag.
What kind of things did he buy you?
Two fur coats. Diamond earrings. I got mostly cash, though. Cash all the time.
What’s the most cash he ever gave you at one time?
$3,000. He told me to buy something nice for the next time I gave him some good head. I was like “Whatever”. I used it to pay my bills.
Did you feel like a prostitute?
The money came way before the head came. Sometimes he’d give me money and I hadn’t even done anything.
Was it like a booty-call thing? He’d call you at a certain time of night?
He would have his homeboy call me and come pick me up and bring me over to wherever he was. The studio, the club, wherever the fuck he was at.
Did you ever go to his house?
Yeah. He’d watch a movie, I’d clean his house, we’d take a shower, fuck and he’d go to sleep. I would take a cab, I’d always leave.
Why didn’t you spend the night?
I didn’t wanna wake up next to him. He’s ugly.
So what was in it for you? Bragging rights?
Yeah, I’m in the music business, so that’s pretty much the reason I fucked Jay. Just to say I did.
Was there ever a situation where you had to deal with him on the business tip?
Mixing business with pleasure, no. That’s too much bullshit. But I think most rappers basically try to fuck bitches who are smart and try to keep them around so they can learn shit. I did it discreetly, though, so most people don’t know.
What’s your story?
I had a one-night stand with Allen Iverson. He was recording his album and I happened to be at the studio. One of my homegirls was into one of his homeboys. There was four bitches and he was like, “I wanna fuck somebody for the night.”
Iverson told me he picked me ’cause I was the only one “not up under his ass.”
How was it?
He has the littlest, ashiest dick I’ve ever seen. It’s like nonexistent. He looks like he should have a pussy. And it’s dry. I would give him four inches at best, and skinny.
So what happened?
We wound up back at his hotel. It wasn’t even worth taking my clothes off for. I ended up leaving before it was over. He didn’t cum, and neither did I, so that’s why I left.